I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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