Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
