Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
