wat bout pragnant strippers??
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
