Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I think your dad took our porno
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
