Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
