You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize