do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
