he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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