i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
