There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
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