And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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