he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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