yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
