how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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