how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize