Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I'm both gender and math confused
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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