Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
