And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
