Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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