Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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