Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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