I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
