Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Sponge bath it is.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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