I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
