And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
i believe in u and ur pee
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize