just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
did i walk over a car last night?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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