this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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