True but thats because hes a fetus.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
