I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
