My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
