I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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