first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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