"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
