We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
