remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Randomize
