He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
