after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
