Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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