They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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