Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
