she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I think your dad took our porno
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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