You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
