Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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