I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Boobs are out for the taking
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
