so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
bring money and cleavage
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
