dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
