you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
