sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
false alarm, still single
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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