I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
