Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
