I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
How external is "for external use only"?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize