I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
