dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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