Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
