Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
