for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
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