i don't like sucking hair
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
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