I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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