you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
