I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
